Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Insecurities

Have you ever stopped to think about how your own insecurities affect your relationship with others? Whether they're insecurities about your appearance, your intelligence or a variety of otehr things, they are part of you and therefor are a part of your life and the way in which you interract with people.

Having said this, I want to talk about insecurities in a relationship.
When you get involved with someone, you are by no real choice, sharing your own insecurities and accepting the insecurities of the other person. This isn't a big deal if you put the effort in that is required in order to prevent them from negatively affecting your relationship. If you have been cheated on in the past, chances are, you are a little insecure about your ability to keep a partner interested in you. Somewhere deep inside, you think that it was your fault... somehow. We all know better. There's no excuse for cheating on your partner, if it's not working... end it. Do the mature thing and finish one relationship before starting another. But inside us, we have the nagging little voice that says that we may have been partially responsible for the demise of our last relationship and as a result we worry in our future relationships. This may cause you to SNOOP through your partners things (e-mail, voice mail, drawers, books, apartment, car etc.); may cause you to make UNFOUNDED accusations; and, may also cause you to feel anxious when you're not with them. THESE ARE PERFECT EXAMPLES of how YOUR OWN insecurities affect your mate. Your partner has a right to privacy, has a right to be free of false accusations, should be given the benefit of the doubt. As soon as you start doing this, you are potentially dooming your relationship.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

while I agree with you 100% on this, I think what would be really helpful is more tips on how to deal with these insecurities. I love my boyfriend, and I know he would never cheat on me - I trust him in that respect completely. However I still get extremely insecure and have to grapple with my anxiety constantly. Even though I know it is harmful to our relationship to have this feelings and then act on them I still find it very hard to stop it. The last thing I want to do is break up our otherwise great relationship, just because of my insecurities which cause arguments between us. So...does anyone have any advice on what to do to stop insecurities and jealous/irrational thoughts?